Once in awhile I get a kick out of watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. Here lately they’ve been promoting, “Dog the Bounty Hunter’s daughter, Lyssa Chapman, arrested in Hawaii”. Curiosity finally got the best of me, so I open up Google and type in Dog the bounty hunter daughter arrested. It looks like March 17, 2011 at 3:30 AM Lyssa Chapman, age 23 was arrested, after allegedly began banging on residents’ doors and swearing while intoxicated. Click here to read the story for yourself.

There’s not much to it, she’s got drunk, acted like a fool, broke a window, slapped a cell phone out of an officer’s hand, and got arrested. There you have it! lol

After reading that I remembered something that I heard about the show. Awhile ago I heard that Dog the Bounty Hunter was canceled, because Dog the bounty was a racist. So, I searched Google again, click here to read the transcript.

HEY LYSSA!!! in case you were wondering read today’s t-shirt! lol

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Another Scooby Snack
Ingredients:

3/4 oz Malibu rum
3/4 oz Midori melon liqueur
1 oz Pineapple juice
1/2 oz Half-and-half

Mixing instructions: Shake ingredients in a mixing cup with ice. Strain into 7 oz. rocks glass and serve.

Drink That Shit
Game Type: Dice – D
Supplies:

1 cup big enough to hold an entire beer
Dice
Each player has their own beer

Instructions:

Let’s say you have the dice. The person to your right attempts to guess what you will roll. If they succeed you must CHUG the big cup (full beer). If they get it wrong they simply take a sip of their beer. After you have rolled and they have guessed, it is their turn to roll and the person to their right must guess. This continues in a circle. It gets fairly wild, and it isn’t unlikely for someone to get nailed 3 or 4 times in a row. Oh and also, when someone guesses right everyone must chant “Drink that shit” while the roller chugs.

Tonight’s one-liner: Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids.

Tonight’s pick-up line: Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?

Today’s Drunk Pic

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This morning I had an idea and I wanted to see how well it would work. The idea was to start a facebook page and call it 5 Friends Marketing Idea. The idea behind this page is tell This is pick 5 friends that you think will pick 5 friends. The goal is to see how fast it is to reach 15.000 people.

If you pick or want to pick more than 5 people. GREAT!!! Not sure it will work, it’s just an idea that I had! lol

If you want to help or just see how fast it will work, click 5 Friends Marketing Idea and then click like. Hope to see you there!

Last night on facebook:

Tyler: I guess I kno how to moon walk O_o

Dave Parker: I know how to moonwalk too, But let me ask you something. Do people look at you funny, when you pull your pants down and moon them and start walking backwards towards them?

Tyler: God dammit lmao

I bet you my version of the moonwalk could be just as famous as Michael Jackson’s! No? You don’t think so? Try it, I bet you it catches on like wild-fire! lol

It makes you want to add me! Doesn’t it? lol

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Farmer’s Divorce

A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.”

The attorney said, “Well do you have any grounds?”

The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.”

The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?”

The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No you don’t understand, I mean do you have a grudge?”

The farmer said, “Yea I got a grudge, that’s where I park my John Deere.”

The attorney said, “No sir, I mean do you have a suit?”

The farmer said, “Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”

The exasperated attorney said, “Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?”

The farmer said, “No sir, we both get up about 4:30.”

Finally, the attorney says, “Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”

And the farmer says, “Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”

Worlds Greatest BlowJob

One day a man went on a business trip to Florida.

He had saw this hooker and he asked “How much for a hand job?”

The hooker replied “100 Bucks”

The man said “100 Bucks, That’s a lot of got damn money”

So the hooker pulled him to the side and said “See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs.”

So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.

The next day he sees her and asks “How much for a head job?”

She said “200 dollars”

“200 dollars that’s a lot of money”

She pulled him to the side and said “You see that Yacht by the pier, I paid for that Yacht by giving head jobs.”

So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life

On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says “The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package.”

“1000 dollars’

“1000 dollars that’s a lot of god damn money”

So she pulled him to side and said “You see that island, I could afford that if i had a pussy.”

Young Rednecks In Love

One beautiful afternoon, a young redneck boy runs into his house and yells “Paw, I found’er! I found da girl I’ms gonna marry, and she’s even a virgin!”

Now while this might impress the males in some families, it irritated and upset the father. Pounding his fist on the table, he yells back “There ain’t no way you’ll marry that that thar girl! If she ain’t good enough for her own family, she sure’s hell ain’t good enough fer ours!”

Redneck Chandelier

Redneck Ceiling Fan

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These last few days have made me realize, something that I already knew but had forgotten. Funny and sex sell! What I mean is I’ve asked friends to view F’N Mental and tell me what they think. Most of the responses I received were either about BELIEVE it or not , These are REAL 911 Calls! and Facts and Chicks. Well, I know funny and (in my Forrest Gump voice) I may not be sexy, but I know what sexy is!

All I’m trying to say is the clouds are gone! The sky is clear! I’ve decided which way I’m going with F’N Mental! I’m going to make F’N Mental me on the internet. From time to time I may talk about Traumatic Brain Injury and I’ll answer any questions that anyone may have about T.B.I.. But I have decided to go with my original plan and that is…… If I read a funny joke, if I see a funny pic, watch a funny video, see a sexy female, (sorry ladies no sex guys, guys aren’t my thing!) if I have a computer problem (like a virus or something internet related), a funny or awesome script, or whatever it might be, It will be right here on F’N Mental! Hope you all enjoy, the trip into Dave Parker’s mind! Make sure to buckle up, no one knows how bumpy this ride might get! lol

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Three blondes & the bell boy

A father and his three beautiful, blonde, daughters went into a hotel to stay for the night. When the daughters went to check in, they saw a really good-looking bell boy. The father caught the three girls looking at him and he threatened to kill the bell boy if he did anything at all with them. So the bell boy minded his own business and ignored the girls.

While he was working ever so diligently, the eldest daughter goes up to him and says “If you don’t do it with me in bed, I will pour red juice on the sheets of my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry.”

Fearing for his life, he did it with her. Then he saw the beautiful middle daughter in the hallway and she too walked over to him and said “If you don’t do it with me, I’ll pour red juice on my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry.”

Again fearing for his life, he agreed. Later that evening the youngest blonde daughter saw him. She walked up to him and said “If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll pour green juice all over the bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry.”

“Green juice?” He asked. “Why Green?”

She replied, “Because my cherry isn’t ripe yet, duh.”

Speeding car

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver’s window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!” at the top of his lungs. “No!” the blonde yelled back, “Scarf!”

Blonde and a Brunette driving

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she’s speeding so she asks the blonde if there’s a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he’s got his lights on. The blonde replies “Yes…No…Yes…No…Yes…No”

Genuine Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Make-up compact

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make-up compact and looks into the mirror. “This picture looks like someone I know” she says. The other one has a look and says, “Of course dummy, it’s ME….”

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Here’s some pictures from my car accident, to show horses don’t tickle!

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I’m in a constant state of confusion. It is very rare, that I can have a conversation with someone and have them understand me or me understand them. A conversation with me usually ends with frustration or me getting irritated.

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Having T.B.I. has cost me relationships with friends and females. Granted some of the females, that I have dated since my accident, have been fucked in the head! But me not being who I was before my accident hasn’t helped matters! Traumatic Brain Injury has also put a strain on my interaction with family. People say they want to help or understand, but I have to ask….. How many really do? How many of my friends or family have read up on Traumatic Brain Injury? How many have truly mad an effort to understand what I go through everyday?

If you want to know more about Traumatic Brain Injury click here

I’m not really sure how many friends or family have read anything or have truly tried to understand. From talking to them I think very few if any! The reason I say this, when talking to them, I feel the need to tell them stuff I have told them before. They tell me that they understood the first time I told them. That makes me think, “If you understand, why do they keep doing or saying the same things? Why has nothing changed? Why do I feel the need to tell them the same thing I’ve told them before?” Call me stupid. But if someone truly understood me, wouldn’t there be some sign of it?

Don’t get me wrong, I know people are busy. They have their own lives! They can’t put all their focus on me. In no way am I asking them to. All I’m asking is for someone to try! At least make an effort! Don’t tell me you understand me, when it seems you truly don’t. I’m not a chimney, so please stop trying to blow smoke up my ass! If you don’t care, just say so!

If you didn’t click there link earlier here are some Traumatic

So, you can understand things a little better, here are some Traumatic Brain Injury Symptoms

Cognitive deficits including difficulties with: Attention, Concentration, Distractibility, Memory, Speed of Processing, Confusion, Perseveration, Impulsiveness, Language Processing, “Executive functions”

Speech and Language: not understanding the spoken word (receptive aphasia), difficulty speaking and being understood (expressive aphasia), slurred speech, speaking very fast or very slow, problems reading, problems writing

Social-Emotional: Dependent behaviors, Emotional ability, Lack of motivation, Irritability, Aggression, Depression, Disinhibition, Denial/lack of awareness

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When I was a kid, I was a big Gilligan’s Island fan. For some reason one thing that has stuck in my head, since I was a kid, is Ginger singing “I Wanna Be Loved by You”. When I get depressed, I hear her singing it, in my head. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure everyone hears the singers voice, when they think of a song. Let’s face it, not everyone can sing, if we heard a song in our own voice, we probably wouldn’t like the song as much! lol

Unfortunately one of the biggest symptoms or side effects of Traumatic Brain Injury is depression! So, needless to say, I hear Ginger singing in my head quite often!

I’ve tried going to talk to doctors. I’ve tried going to group meetings. I’ve tried seeking help through friends and family. Sometimes it feels, or I feel like a lost cause! Trust me there’s plenty of suggestions, and people telling me what I have to do, but sometimes I just want someone to listen!

Usually when I find someone to listen, it ends up being someone that I already told it to before. Sometimes I’ll find someone new that will listen briefly, but then it becomes about them and their problem or problems!

I’m not one for taking medication. It’s my belief that medication only masks the pain, it doesn’t fix it! Now I’m not knocking anyone for taking medication, if it works for you or them, GREAT!!! All I’m saying is meds aren’t for me, they aren’t my thing!

The reason why I’m writing this post, is because I’m going through a spell of depression, I want to get away from myself, or run from who I am. Well, since it’s not possible to get separate from myself, I feel like I have no one, and like I said, meds aren’t for me! I’ve decided to blog, to put my words, on the world wide web for everyone to see and read! Believe it or not this works for me!

The only advice I can give to anyone that has Traumatic Brain injury, depression, or whatever it may be, “Don’t give up! No matter how hard it is, not to! No matter how easy it looks, to just call it quits! Don’t give up!” There’s someone out there that cares! If you can’t find anyone, or you just need someone different to talk to, post a comment here, or look me up on FaceBook facebook.com/itsdmfp. In no way am I sayin’, I have all the answers, but I’m here to listen!

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